I promise a positive blog will be coming....

I woke up yesterday morning realizing just where pregnancy had led me - oversized, emotional and very tired. I was trying to figure out how to stop or slow down the weight gain process, even maybe shed a few pounds before my next appointment.

The thing that got me through my self pity party was this blog (I am blog stalker). I was thinking back to Robins blog. I thought "if someone like Robin can feel this way during pregnancy we all do." What I mean is that she is beautiful pregnant or not. She looks great while she is pregnant and yet she even has her days with pregnancy. I am in no way comparing my pregnant self to hers rather relating to her feelings during this last stretch of pregnancy.

As my day went on I continued to battle with my negative feelings regarding myself image at this time. Later that day I had a conversation that I will not elaborate on but it was hurtful in terms of how large I am when I am pregnant. It reafirmed my what I had already been stressed out about all day.

After a chat with my mother, who listened and was so sweet to help me through the whole thing, I began to feel a little better. I felt like I may be able to show my face in public and be ok.

I woke up this morning feeling ready for the day. Once at work I decided to go get a bite to eat. I headed next store to the Deli. While waiting in line a table of men got my attention.

"That's what you get for fooling around" Man

"I know, I should have learned the first two times" Me - laughing it off

"Three is a crowd. You are done. That is enough" Man

I turned and walked away. I am just tired. I am tired of people having an opinion of my weight, the number of children I am having and honestly anything I do in my life that doesn't effect them.

I realize that I am in the final weeks of my pregnancy and emotions are hightened but I am just getting frustrated with all these comments. I also realize that some people don't have filters and some just don't know what else to say so they make awkward comments but I am tired of excusing them because I am left with my feelings hurt.

Today I was trying to figure out the nicest way to let one person know my feelings were hurt about our conversation. I was so worried about hurting their feelings when I realized they had no regard when it came to my feelings. The words that were said were said this out any care as to how they would make me feel. After 10 minutes of "She was huge" I was left hurt and they moved on with their day. At that moment I addressed the situation with no regard for their feelings. I was going to say what I needed to no matter what it meant. If they don't speak to me again it will be no loss to me.

I know that their have been times in my life that I have offended people. I have said the wrong things, I have spoken out of turn and I have left someone feeling bad. I sit here with an overwhelming feeling of sorrow to those I have ever offended my intent was never to offend.

I hope the lesson that I can learn from this is to be more kind, more loving more aware of the things I say to others. I also hope that over the next several weeks I can come to a place where I am feel ok with my pregnant self, that I can rejoice in my round body and thank God for blessing me with the oportunity to carry a sweet sweet spirit.

I realize that the comments won't stop but I hope I feel find some way to move past them and to find strength to stand up for myself at the time the comments are made.