Bentley Word
Pregnancy
I am sure you all know I have a battle with hair. Long, short, up, down, shave my head, down to my knees, black, brown, red, funky, spunky. Anyway, I have this battle. What I am realizing is that it is leaking over on to my kids as well. What I mean is that I am fighting an inner battle too let my kids hair just be.
Here's the thing...I think short hair suits Sadie just well. I think it is super cute and perfect for her face shape. I know I am no hair dresser but it is my life dream so in my mind I am and I know just what I am talking about. However, her daddy (not his life dream to be a hair dresser) thinks she looks lovely with long hair and continues to tell me that he just loves how it is growing and she is looking more and more like a little girl. I am holding back every desire in my heart to take her into the bathroom and give her a cute little shorter hair cute. The only real thing keeping me from doing anything and I mean anything at all to her hair is, ok there are two things. 1. Seth notices EVERYTHING a little snip of the bangs and he will notice. He was gone for 4 weeks and I gave her bangs a little little little trim and the first thing he says when he says is something regarding Sadie's bangs. 2. the last time I trimmed her hair he begged me not to and I took a oath not to cut her hair. (What was I thinking!!) So needless to say there is nothing and I mean nothing I can do. I don't even think this kind of act would fall under the "I am pregnant and totally forgot I said I wouldn't cut it." Or the "I am nesting and cleaning out my clutter Sadies long hair was just on of those things that had to been cleaned."
Problem number to with a hair battle is if my two year old, Sadie is going to have long hair then it should be pulled back neatly or brushed nice or some thing...right? Well she doesn't like her hair being up so I run into this problem - I put her hair up and after it dries she pulls it out thus leaving it looking well wild because it should be up but isn't up. Phew, I can feel my blood pressure rising just talking about it.
Linkin's hair on the other hand is a different story. Seth doesn't seem to care one way or another. Which does give me some sense of peace. Well, he is going to have hair stories to talk about later in life because I get the urge to cut Sadie's hair and I take Linkin back and give him a nice cut! Hahahah. I gave him a hair cut the other day, pretty much at his request, and it looks great. I was really liking the long shaggy look but once I chopped it all off I was delighted with the outcome. So nice, clean and really compliments his face. (see I know what I am talking about!)
Now as far as my hair. I have been watching Idol and adore Ellen and pretty much want to be her. I ADORE her hair and want it on my head however the 9th month of pregnancy says "Heck NO!" with my face being so round and puffy and the rest of my body matching my face a super short cut isn't going to work for me at this point. So I am convincing myself that some time from now after the baby weight it gone I will go in and convince my hair dresser to chop it all off but until then I will deal with the puffy look. I was daydreaming about extensions the other day and how it would really help slim my face down a bit. hahahahahahaha a girl can dream. Do you think a little extra hair could shave off 45-50 pounds? I was hopeful.
Well, there is my hair battle.
As Linkin said the other day "May comes in as a lion and leaves as a lamb". It was been so beautiful the past week. Windows open, sun shinning, birds flying, it has just be so beautiful. My fondest memories of my childhood where the times we spent outside playing and playing. We were blessed with a big yard and lots of built in friends, my siblings, plus my mom did daycare so we were set. I remember running in the sprinklers, slip and sliding, climbing the trees and just having so much fun being a kid!
Today the kids got a chance to play out side in the sprinklers and soak up the sun. It brought back a lot of memories for me. So fun!
As seen in my previous blog I have a rash I have been dealing with. I know it isn't the best topic to write on but my mind if full and I need to get out some thoughts. Turns out the "mild but intensely itch" rash I had with my other two children has returned with this pregnancy but has come on with a vengeance and is actually a rare autoimmune disorder called pemphigoid gestationis. In just a matter of days it gotten a bit out of hand. What started as a red itchy belly has turned in to a full body nightmare.
I have been in an out of various doctors offices. Since it is rare "pregnancy disease" it has been a new adventure for most doctors I have seen. My first visit to my OBG regarding the rash I was told I also had gestational diabetes. I actually almost laughted at the doctor when he told me this because I didn't have it with my other two and figured they must have gotten me confused with someone else. Turns out after another test that I do in fact have it. However gestational diabetes is well know in the world of OBG's so it was not big thing, I can monitor it with my eating and should be fine. However when you have pemphigoid gestationis the treatment is steriods and one of the side effects of the steriods is an increase in blood sugar levels. As the high risk doctors said "This would only effect you if you had GD" Me, laughing out of sheer disbelief "I do have it actually." I didn't have it with my other two why, why all of this in one pregnancy? So, most likely I will begin insulin on Friday after they get an idea of where my blood sugar is once I have a full day on the steriods.
So what does this all mean? I will be closely monitored by the diabetes center and my OBG. Off work until delivery. I will have non-stress tests done twice a week, a few more ultra sounds to monitor the baby and most likely and early delivery. Hopefully my body will be helpful and respond to the different medications and work with me on this.
What else does this mean? I am not a fan of being in public. I am tired from lack of sleep. The itching is horrible and sends me into meltdowns regularly.
I am not looking for sympathy just typing out my thoughts about the whole situation. Just praying God will guide me through these next few weeks with safety and peace of mind.
